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This one is for Abril - It shouldn’t eclipse your own judgment.

When it comes to relationships, there’s an unspoken rule we all follow: Thou shalt seek the approval of thy best friend. She’s the one who’s been there through every bad date, heartbreak, and questionable text message sent at 2 a.m. (and let’s face it, she probably drafted half of them). So naturally, when someone new enters your life, her opinion carries as much weight as a presidential election—and feels just as dramatic.

But what happens when your best friend isn’t a fan of your new beau?

The Best Friend Seal of Approval

The best friend’s approval is like a Michelin star for your love life. When she gives it, everything tastes sweeter. If she loves him, you find yourself falling harder, more convinced that this is The One. After all, your best friend is your oracle, your lie detector, your unofficial therapist. She knows your type better than you do. So, when she says, He’s great for you, it feels like the universe is nodding along.

But if she doesn’t approve? Oh boy. Suddenly, every little thing about him feels magnified. That slightly weird laugh? Maybe it’s too weird. The fact that he doesn’t like dogs? Is that a red flag or a crimson banner waving in your face? Her disapproval plants seeds of doubt faster than a Netflix true-crime series can ruin a suburban husband’s reputation.

The Power She Holds

Why does her opinion matter so much? Because, deep down, your best friend is a reflection of you. She’s the family you chose, the person who sees you at your worst and loves you anyway. If she thinks your partner isn’t good enough, it’s like she’s saying you deserve better—and who doesn’t want to believe that? But sometimes her disapproval isn’t about him at all. It might be about her fear of losing you. Your dynamic changes when you’re dating someone seriously, and maybe she’s worried about where she fits in. Or maybe she’s projecting her own insecurities, comparing your relationship to her own (or lack thereof).

Balancing Her Voice with Yours

While your best friend’s opinion is invaluable, it’s not the gospel truth. She’s human, just like you. She might not see the quiet moments of tenderness you share with your partner or understand why his quirks make your heart flutter. And let’s be honest: sometimes we date people who don’t make sense to anyone but us. That doesn’t make them wrong for us; it just makes them unique. Love isn’t a democracy, and your relationship doesn’t require unanimous votes to thrive. But if your best friend is waving a red flag the size of a circus tent, it’s worth paying attention. Is she pointing out behavior that’s genuinely harmful, or does she just not “get” him? Because there’s a difference between constructive criticism and personal taste.

When to Listen—and When to Trust Yourself

The key is balance. Your best friend’s opinion should be a factor, not the deciding vote. If she raises concerns, hear her out—after all, she knows you better than anyone. But remember: the relationship isn’t hers to live, it’s yours. If you’re constantly torn between her voice and your own, take a step back and ask yourself : Do her concerns align with what I’m feeling deep down? At the end of the day, love is messy, complicated, and deeply personal. Your best friend might be your soulmate in life, but that doesn’t mean she’s always right about your romantic soulmate.

Her Opinion Matters, But Yours Matters Most

Your best friend’s approval can be a guiding light, but it shouldn’t eclipse your own judgment. If you love him and he loves you—and the relationship is healthy, fulfilling, and true to who you are—then her approval is the cherry on top, not the whole sundae. And if she doesn’t approve? Well, maybe it’s a chance to have an honest conversation—not just about your partner, but about the kind of support you need from her.

Because the best relationships, romantic or platonic, are built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding.

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