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This one is for John - I"m WITH YOU with all my heart.

There’s a truth about relationships that our egos find hard to swallow: “With you” is always implied.

We love to make excuses for why things don’t work out. He wasn’t ready. She was scared of commitment. It was the right person, wrong time. But deep down, we know the real reason. That person simply didn’t want to do all those things—with us. And let’s be honest, it stings.

The Rejection We Don’t Want to Accept

Our egos hate the idea that someone we’d move mountains for wouldn’t even cross the street for us. We tell ourselves all these comforting narratives because admitting the truth feels too painful. If they were really not ready, they wouldn’t be jumping into a new relationship three months later, hand in hand with someone else, suddenly so ready. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. That gut-wrenching realization when the person who wasn’t “ready” for a relationship with us somehow found all the readiness in the world for someone else. And that’s when the real heartbreak sets in—not just the pain of losing them, but the quiet, humbling reality that we weren’t irreplaceable after all.

The Harsh Reality of Attraction

We like to believe that if a date goes well—if the laughter is effortless, the chemistry undeniable, and the conversations deep into the night—then something must come of it. But the truth is, just because we enjoyed someone doesn’t mean we shifted their world. It’s the classic mistake: assuming that a great time together equates to being the one for them. But human attraction is more complex, more irrational than we’d like to admit. Someone can adore spending time with us but not see a future. They can crave our company but never crave our commitment.

Saying It and Hearing It—Both Are Brutal

Rejecting someone is just as hard as being rejected. Maybe you’ve been in the other position before—liking someone, but not that much. They’re kind, attractive, fun, but they don’t spark something in you. And when they start to hope for more, you feel trapped, scrambling for the softest way to say, “You’re great, but… not my person.” And that’s a tough thing to say, because it’s a tough thing to hear. That’s why we sugarcoat it. We say, “I just need time.” Or, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.” We make it about us, rather than about them. Because saying, “I just don’t see a future with you” feels brutal. But that’s the truth we have to accept when we’re on the receiving end.

The Myth of Timing

We cling to the idea of timing because it offers hope. Maybe in another life. Maybe when they’re more mature. Maybe we’ll find our way back to each other. But the truth? If they wanted you, they would have chosen you. It really is that simple. And yet, we still tell ourselves stories, because accepting the reality feels too much like accepting defeat. But it’s not defeat—it’s just life. Love isn’t always about fairness, or effort, or deserving. It’s about something intangible, unexplainable. And sometimes, it’s just not there.

You Won’t Be Everyone’s Great Love—and That’s Okay

We all secretly want to be unforgettable, to be the one who leaves a mark. But the reality is, we won’t be that person for everyone we meet. And that’s okay. Some connections are fleeting. Some are meant to be lessons. And some, no matter how much we wish otherwise, just aren’t meant to be at all. So yes, your ego will take a hit. But instead of fighting against it, maybe we should embrace it.

Because in the end, wouldn’t we rather be chosen fully, deeply, and willingly—rather than being someone’s almost?

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