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You’re supposed to be yourself.

It starts as a whisper. A casual comment, a passing mention. “Oh, my ex used to love this song.” Or maybe it’s the way their eyes light up when they talk about that coworker who “gets them like no one else.” The whisper grows into a roar, a reminder that someone else is always in the picture, even if only in their mind. And then, the dreaded thought takes root: Why am I never enough?

I’ve been there. I’ve lived there. The unspoken competition, the internal monologue dissecting every word, every look, every moment. I’ve spent nights staring at the ceiling, wondering if I’m just a pit stop on their way to something better. And worse, I’ve asked myself if I’ll ever be the better someone else chases.

Accepting the Other Side of "Enough"

The harsh reality of life is that someone else will always be better than you. There will always be a woman who’s prettier, smarter, or more accomplished. Someone who’s effortlessly cool while you’re fumbling with your eyeliner. But here’s the twist: there will also always be someone worse. And no, I’m not saying we should rank ourselves on some imaginary scale of worth, but this realization was oddly comforting to me. Life isn’t a single-player game where someone always has to win.

It’s a chaotic, messy multiplayer world where we’re all playing different roles. The girl who’s “better” than me in one way might be worse in another. She might have flawless skin but crippling insecurity. She might have a job I envy but no time to enjoy it. We all bring something unique to the table, and sometimes, the person who feels like they’re everything you’re not might secretly wish they had what you do. So why do I keep forgetting that I’m someone else’s “better” too?

The Trap of Comparison

For years, I lived in a mental ping-pong match of comparison. One minute, I’d feel inferior to the ghost of an ex they swore they were over. The next, I’d feel smugly superior to the random girl they used to flirt with at parties. Neither feeling brought me closer to peace because both were rooted in insecurity. It’s easy to forget that comparison is a never-ending cycle. There will always be another “someone else.” You can’t win a race with no finish line, so why keep running? Instead, I’ve started asking myself a different question: Do I even want to be enough for someone who doesn’t see my worth?

Redefining Enough

“Enough” isn’t a fixed point. It’s a feeling, a state of mind. And it’s not about being the best—it’s about being yourself and knowing that’s more than enough. I’ve realized that being enough doesn’t mean I’ll be the most extraordinary person someone has ever met. It means I’ll be the person who matters most to them right now. It means I don’t have to compete with their past, their fantasies, or their Instagram feed because, when it’s real, there’s no competition. And even if someone else is “better” in some ways, they’ll still choose me—because being enough for the right person isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about connection, trust, and the simple, irreplaceable magic of you.

Owning the “Better” and the “Worse”

So here’s what I’ve decided: someone else will always be better than me, and I’m okay with that. Because someone else will also always be worse. Life is a balancing act, and so is love. And maybe it’s not about being enough for everyone. Maybe it’s about being enough for myself. Because the person I spend the most time with—the one who matters most—is me. So, if you’re out there wondering why you’re not enough, take a deep breath and let it go.

You’re not supposed to be everything to everyone.

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