© Colonne / @tatemcrae

This one’s for Sophia, Estelle-Marie, Claire and Izabela—girls, DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE.

Seeing happy couples on Instagram or walking by a pair holding hands in a park can feel like an unintentional reminder that we, too, are navigating the world solo. But for some, that experience of waiting for the right relationship—or any meaningful relationship at all—seems like a chapter that has yet to even begin. And in today’s dating world, that feeling has become more common than ever.

Why is it that some of us have yet to experience the “real” thing?

The Allure of the “Situationship” Era

In the last decade, the situationship has replaced the classic dating experience. Think of it as “boyfriend-lite” without the commitment or future. There’s texting, maybe some dates, and often a lot of ambiguous feelings—but rarely a DTR (define the relationship) talk. It's all the perks of dating, without any promises. Many of us can relate to the temptation of staying in these undefined connections. They might seem convenient, freeing us from commitment, yet, they can also start to resemble a relationship—especially when you’ve shared memories, met each other’s friends, or even had a vacation together. Situationships can feel like a security blanket for those of us who want connection but fear the pain of fully investing in someone who isn’t truly on the same page. We want the romance without the heartbreak. But the truth? We end up with a lot of heartbreak anyway, just more subtly and over a longer period of time.

Are We the Problem, Or Is It “Them”?

In today’s dating landscape, it’s natural to feel as though the problem lies with us, especially when we’re told to be patient and that “the right person will come along” —F that. We start to wonder if we’re too picky, inexperienced, or just don’t "click" in the dating world. But the reality is, modern dating itself often fuels this self-doubt. Casual flings and toxic advice—like "be mean to keep them keen"—have infiltrated dating culture, leaving many to feel jaded and undervalued. If you’ve never had a serious relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re behind or missing something essential. Instead, it just means you haven’t yet found a connection truly worth your time. Rather than letting self-doubt take root, embrace the freedom of a fresh start, unburdened by past heartbreaks or toxic exes. Each experience—whether it’s a crush, a casual situationship, or the decision to walk away from something unfulfilling—is valuable. This perspective allows you to focus on what you truly deserve, reminding yourself that every step, even in singlehood, is preparing you for a relationship that will be worth the wait.

Can We Believe in Love in a Situationship World?

Seeing others find love can make you wonder if it’s even realistic to keep hoping. But here’s the thing: the very fact that love is rare is what makes it valuable. Just because you haven’t found it yet doesn’t mean it’s a fantasy. In fact, love often requires a level of vulnerability and emotional investment that many of us are hesitant to give fully in today’s dating culture. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It just means it takes a little more time, a little more patience, and a lot more self-confidence. So, if you find yourself in a situationship that feels one-sided or just not good enough, be brave enough to step away. Holding out for the real thing isn’t just okay—it’s empowering.

Embrace Being Single, But Don’t Settle

If there’s one piece of advice I could give, it’s this: don’t settle for less than what makes you feel happy and whole. The world can make you feel as though you should have been through the gauntlet of dating by now, but everyone’s journey looks different. Embrace this season of being single as an opportunity to get to know yourself and to set your standards for the kind of relationship you want in the future. Not everyone has their first love at 18, 22, or even 25, and that’s okay. Rather than rushing into something just to “check the box,” take your time, and focus on your happiness, your goals, and your peace. The right person won’t just make you feel less alone—they’ll make the wait feel entirely worth it.

So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, Why not me?, remember that love doesn’t have an age limit or a set timeline. Hold on to your hope, stay open, and trust that the right connection will come when it’s truly meant for you. Because sometimes, in the absence of a boyfriend, we find the one person who deserves our love and patience the most—ourselves.

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