The Silent War Between Boss Babes and Homemakers

© Colonne / Pinterest

This one’s for Noor—yes, every woman should make her choice in peace.

I was standing in line the other day, eavesdropping on a conversation between two women in blazers that were sharp enough to cut glass. They were discussing the plight of their careers, the daily juggling act, the thrill of achievement, and the need to “hustle harder.” But somewhere between their praise for the girl-boss life and griping about a meeting-heavy week, the conversation took a turn. One rolled her eyes and muttered, “At least I’m not wasting my life as a stay-at-home wife. I’d go mad without purpose.”

There it was: that silent war that’s been brewing for decades, between the “career women” and the “stay-at-home wives.” In a world where women fought for the right to work, where we broke glass ceilings and conquered boardrooms, we seem to have developed a peculiar intolerance for the women who choose a different path. For all our progress, have we somehow forgotten the beauty of choice?

Somewhere along the line, “girl power” got rebranded as “girl boss.” We made success our calling card, proudly adopting terms like "hustle culture" and "girl boss energy." We celebrated the hard-working woman who had it all—career, relationship, family. But when did we start looking down on the women who opted out of this path? Somehow, the woman who chooses homemaking is seen as choosing passivity, even if that choice is every bit as deliberate. So here’s the question that haunts me: Why do we, as women, judge each other’s choices so harshly? In a world where we’re all about empowerment, why does a woman stepping back feel like a step backward?

The truth is, the modern, working woman has become a cultural icon. She’s the woman who’s got the messy bun and the power point, who’s reading three self-help books and has her life planned to a T. She thrives on purpose and independence. So when she encounters a woman who finds happiness in a different rhythm—one grounded in homemaking, nurturing, and, dare I say it, softness—it’s easy to feel… a little threatened.

But maybe, just maybe, it’s not resentment that the “boss babe” feels. Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s a nagging feeling that the relentless grind isn’t the only way to be successful. Perhaps it’s uncomfortable to watch someone else make a choice that gives them peace, a choice we’re told isn't “enough” for women of today. Because if we can find happiness at home, with our mornings free of Zoom calls and our afternoons filled with family, then what are we even hustling for?

We’re all guilty of judgment, whether we like to admit it or not. The silent divide between the working woman and the homemaker often feels like an argument that neither side is willing to acknowledge. Boss babes are on one side, insisting that financial independence and career goals are the only way to “win,” while homemakers embrace a quieter victory—peace, presence, and the luxury of time.

Maybe this isn’t about superiority at all. Perhaps it’s about understanding that what works for one doesn’t invalidate what works for another. We’re complex beings, us women, with minds capable of conquering the corporate world or mastering the art of a home. The reality is, both paths demand a certain level of courage and commitment. Both have their struggles, their joys, and their victories.

The idea of purpose has been sold to us as a one-size-fits-all concept, when in truth, it’s deeply personal. Purpose doesn’t have to come with a paycheck or a promotion, and it certainly doesn’t have to look the same for every woman. Homemakers are not shirking responsibility—they’re simply choosing to define it differently.

Maybe the solution isn’t about picking sides in this silent war. Maybe it’s about rewriting the script altogether. Because if we, as women, can’t accept that success and fulfillment look different for everyone, then how far have we truly come? It’s not about abandoning ambition or softening our strength. It’s about recognizing that strength takes many forms—some in boardrooms and some in nurseries, and both are equally valid.

In the end, we all want the same thing: to feel valued, purposeful, and free to live as we choose. So let’s lay down our judgment and embrace a more inclusive definition of success. Because, whether we’re wearing power suits or aprons, aren’t we all just trying to find our own happy ending?

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