© Colonne / Canva

This one is for me - Am I late to the party, or is it just my ego talking?

A close friend of mine recently shared some big news—she’s engaged. At 25. I was thrilled for her, genuinely excited to see someone I care about so much entering such a beautiful chapter of her life. I can't wait to celebrate her joy, clinking glasses and talking about wedding plans, because right now, it feels like nothing else matters. But as selfish as it sounds, it made me feel… behind. Like I’d missed a train everyone else was on.

Just the other night, I was at a bar with friends. All of their friends were coupled up, while I stood there solo, clutching my drink like a life raft. Most of my closest friends are in relationships, building careers, or seemingly settling into adulthood. Meanwhile, I, in a moment of weakness, texted an old fling just to feel seen. It wasn’t regret that hit me the next day but a stark realization: it didn’t make sense. And yet, here I am. Frustrated. Tired of being single. Tired of feeling like I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

Better Alone Than Badly Accompanied?

I’ve always preached the gospel of being alone over settling for something mediocre. But recently, I’ve started to question my own mantra. Is it true? Really true? Sure, staying single is better than being stuck in a loveless or draining relationship. But honestly, I’m sick of being alone. I’m tired of searching for someone who feels like my perfect match. When I look at couples from the outside, I know I’m only seeing the highlight reel. They could be bored, unhappy, or hanging on by a thread, only leaving the house together for a rare date night. Or maybe they’re thriving, laughing, and deeply in love. And that’s what I want—to love and to be loved, to share the kind of story I’ve been waiting for. But waiting is exhausting. And while patience is supposedly a virtue, it feels like a punishment right now.

The Ghosts of Relationships Past

But when I think back to my past relationships, they don’t exactly fill me with hope. If what’s ahead is just more of what I’ve already had, then honestly, I’d rather stay single. I can’t imagine committing to another lukewarm romance that fizzles out halfway through. Still, I’m a romantic at heart. I love love. I believe in its magic. And even when things don’t work out, the beauty of opening your heart remains undeniable. But deep down, I know I don’t want to relive the past. I want something new—something better.

Single, Surrounded by Couples, and Stuck

Here’s the cruel irony: when you’re in a relationship, all you want is freedom. The idea of being single again feels like liberation—a chance to live boldly, meet new people, and rediscover yourself. But when you’re single, you’re surrounded by couples, most of whom look like they’ve figured it all out. And suddenly, all you want is what they seem to have: someone to love, to hold, to share life with. I’ve flirted, dated, and dabbled, but the thrill of casual connections is gone. What I crave now is a healthy, real relationship. And that feels harder to find than ever.

Redefining On Time

At 25, it’s easy to feel like you’re running behind. No fiancé, no wedding, no kids, no clear career path—it’s easy to let comparison steal your joy. But when I step back, I remind myself of something important: 25 is not late. You’re not behind if you haven’t met the one. You’re not behind if you’re not married or engaged. You’re not behind if you’re still figuring out your life. At 25, you’re not behind—you're just beginning. Our idea of lateness is just a myth, a self-imposed pressure that doesn’t hold up to scrutiny. So maybe it’s time to stop chasing a timeline and start embracing where we are. Because in this era of endless possibilities, 25 isn’t a deadline—it’s a prologue.

Choosing to Wait for the Real Thing

And here’s the truth I keep coming back to: settling isn’t the answer. Even when loneliness weighs heavy, choosing the wrong person for the sake of having someone would only leave me feeling emptier. I’d rather spend this time learning who I am, building a life that makes me happy, so that when the right person comes along, I’m ready for them. Maybe being on time isn’t about meeting society’s expectations. Maybe it’s about meeting your own, at your own pace.

And if love is a train, then perhaps I’m not late—I’m simply waiting for the right one to arrive.

Want to speak about something precisely?

Just tell me, I'll (or we ?) write about it...

You might want to read...