When Your Best Friend Goes MIA for Her Partner

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This one’s for Julia, Sara and Flora—don’t forget that your friendship is valuable, too.

Ah, the classic dilemma: your best friend is suddenly all about her boyfriend, and you’re left wondering if she’s forgotten you exist. At first, it feels like a plot twist in your favorite rom-com—only, you’re not the lead in this one, and the plot isn’t nearly as cute. But here’s the truth: it’s okay.

We’ve all heard the old line: “When you’re in love, you can be a little stupid sometimes.” And let’s be honest, haven’t we all been there? Love has this magical ability to turn even the sharpest minds into mush. Suddenly, your friend is “busy” 24/7, and all you get is a “Sorry, I was with [insert partner’s name here]” text. It stings, right? But here’s the thing: it’s not really her fault. Okay, maybe she could send a text once in a while saying, "Hey, I'm still alive and I haven’t forgotten about you," but when you're wrapped up in a new relationship, it's like a gravitational force pulling you in. Honestly, you can’t be mad at her... though let’s not pretend you’re not green with envy.

Now, there’s a fine line between understanding and downright abandonment. Sure, you can’t be the third wheel to their romantic marathons forever. Friendships are supposed to be a balance, not a competition between you and her partner. But, if we’re being real, sometimes it feels like you’re competing against someone who doesn't even know he’s in the race.

So, what’s a girl to do when she’s feeling like an afterthought in her BFF’s world of coupledom? First, acknowledge that jealousy is a perfectly normal reaction. It doesn’t make you a bad friend; it just makes you human. You are the girl who used to be the center of her universe, after all. You’re allowed to feel some type of way when the shift happens. But the secret is: don’t let it ruin your vibe. This is her journey, and it’s okay to give her space, even though we all know deep down, it’s way more fun when she’s our sidekick.

Now, when it comes to your friend who’s clearly stuck in a toxic relationship (cue the dramatic sigh), it’s a whole other story. Convincing your bestie to break up with her controlling, manipulative boyfriend is not an easy task, but it’s one you need to approach with care. The hard truth? She’s in love, and love makes you see things through rose-colored glasses that sometimes might be more like prison bars than a love story.

How do you deal with this? Start with empathy. Yes, she’s in a bad spot, but love makes people feel like they can’t breathe without the other person. The guilt trips, the emotional manipulation—it’s like watching a reality TV show where the best friend can’t see the clearly toxic relationship. Approach the conversation gently, without sounding like the "I'm always right" friend. Ask her what she’s feeling and remind her of who she is when she’s not caught up in his web. Offer support, not criticism. But remember, you can’t force her to make that decision—no matter how much you want her to take a hard look at her situation and say, “You deserve better, girl!”

Now, on to the more glamorous parts of life, like learning how to look more put together. I mean, if your friend’s love life is a mess, you can at least be the picture of perfection, right? Looking chic doesn’t have to be hard—throw on a killer outfit, swipe on some lipstick, and boom. It’s all about feeling like your best self even when you’re dealing with your best friend’s very public breakup struggles. (Seriously, no one should be caught in sweats for more than two days in a row, especially not when life is throwing curveballs.)

Lastly, girl code. This is where it gets sticky. No one ever teaches you where to draw the line between loyalty and “mind your business.” But here’s the deal: if your girl is being cheated on, you’re obligated to tell her, no question. It’s hard, and it’s awkward, but if you know something she doesn’t, it’s your duty to be there for her, even if it feels like you’re ruining the magic of her relationship. As for how often this happens... well, let’s just say the more we talk about it, the more you realize that sometimes, we end up being the ones holding the emotional baggage. But hey, that's the price of loyalty.

So, what’s the takeaway? When your friends start prioritizing their boyfriends over you, don’t burn any bridges. Relationships shift, and sometimes, your best friend is going to be caught up in the whirlwind of romance. But don’t forget that your friendship is valuable, too. Let her have her love story, but don’t lose your own plot in the process.

After all, the real question is: who’s going to be there to tell you that you look fabulous when it’s all over?

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