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This one’s for Jana, Martha and Juliana —You’ve already found the love of your life

We’ve all been sold the fairy tale. Somewhere out there, a perfectly imperfect person is roaming the earth, waiting to sweep us off our feet, complete our sentences, and make us whole. We’re told it’s destiny. It’s magic. It’s… exhausting. Because let’s be real: finding a soulmate in this chaotic world feels a lot like trying to find a clean bathroom at a music festival—possible, but rare, and not without a lot of unnecessary mess.

But what if, instead of looking outward, we started looking inward? What if the love of your life has been staring back at you every morning, bedhead and all? The question I keep coming back to is this: Am I my own soulmate?

The Quest for "The One"

The idea of a soulmate is intoxicating. Blame it on romance novels, Disney movies, or that one friend who met their fiancé on the car (ugh). It’s the notion that there’s one person out there who just gets you. Someone who can finish your thoughts, laugh at your jokes, and make even the most mundane Tuesday feel like an adventure.

But what happens when the fairy tale doesn’t unfold as planned? What if Mr. or Ms. Right doesn’t show up by the socially acceptable deadline? If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent more time questioning your life choices than actually enjoying your life.

I used to think my soulmate would come along and unlock the best version of me, like some kind of emotional locksmith. But the older I get, the more I wonder: What if I’m the locksmith? What if the only person who can “complete” me… is me?

Falling in Love With Yourself

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. Loving yourself isn’t just a cheesy Instagram quote—it’s survival. Because let’s face it: even in the most romantic relationships, there will be moments when your partner won’t have the answers, or the patience, or the emotional bandwidth to deal with your latest existential crisis. In those moments, the person you’re left with is you.

Being your own soulmate doesn’t mean giving up on love or relationships. It means being the kind of person you’d want to date. It’s about knowing your worth, setting your standards, and refusing to settle for anyone who doesn’t respect them. It’s about learning to enjoy your own company, because if you don’t like spending time with yourself, why would anyone else?

Think about it: you’re the only person who’s been with you through everything. Your bad haircuts, your questionable exes, your 3 a.m. crying sessions over that email you shouldn’t have sent. You’re the constant in your own story, the protagonist, the hero. So why not start treating yourself like the love of your life?

The Perks of Being Your Own Soul Mate

When you embrace this idea, something magical happens: the pressure to find “the one” starts to fade. You stop obsessing over timelines, red flags, and whether or not they texted back. Instead, you focus on building a life you love, with or without someone by your side.

You take yourself on dates—to the movies, to a fancy dinner, to that little bookstore you’ve been meaning to check out. You buy the flowers, wear the dress, and celebrate the wins, no matter how small. You become the person who lights up your own life, instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you.

Plus, when you stop desperately searching for someone to “complete” you, you start attracting people who complement you. People who see your value, because you see it first. People who don’t drain you, but add to the life you’ve already built.

So, the next time you catch yourself spiraling about being single, or wondering why your love life doesn’t look like a rom-com, remember this: you are the love story. The meet-cute, the plot twist, the grand finale—it’s all you.

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