Where Are My Fabulous Friends?

JUST ASKINGFRIENDSHIP

Victoria Guillou

10/23/2024

© Colonne / Getty

This one is for Nicole—you're your first AMAZING girlfriend!

You ever have one of those days when you look around and think, “Where are my people?” That feeling of searching for your crew can sneak up on you like an unexpected downpour on a sunny day. It’s completely normal to crave that close-knit group of friends—the kind who understand your quirks, lift you up, and make life sparkle a little more.

Friendship is supposed to be a glorious adventure, right? The kind where you and your fabulous crew are out living your best lives, laughing until you cry, and sharing secrets over brunch while sipping mimosas. Yet here I am, feeling like I’m still on the quest for my dream squad. Where are they hiding? One moment you’re scrolling through Instagram, admiring friends in matching outfits at some trendy brunch spot, and the next, you’re sitting on your couch, cradling a lukewarm cup of coffee, wondering if the barista who knows your order by heart qualifies as a friend. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

I thought by now I’d have my own glittering circle—think Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha, but with a touch more sparkle and a lot less drama. Picture it: spontaneous road trips, late-night heart-to-hearts, and the kind of inside jokes that make you laugh until you snort. Instead, I often find myself questioning whether I missed the memo about the friendship lottery. This longing for connection can hit at any moment in life—whether you’re in your twenties, thirties, or even beyond. Perhaps you’ve just moved to a new city, started a new job, or endured a breakup. Suddenly, it feels like everyone else is frolicking in friendship land while you’re left standing awkwardly on the sidelines, like the only one without a plus-one at the party.

But let’s be real: it’s completely okay to feel this way. Life can sometimes feel like a never-ending series of social events where you’re the lone wolf in the pack. We all crave deeper connections—those moments when we want to share life’s rollercoaster rides with someone who truly gets it. What I want you to remember is that you’re not alone in this search. We all go through phases where friendships can feel sparse, and that’s perfectly normal. It doesn’t matter if you’re navigating a new job, moving to a different city, or simply experiencing a shift in your current friendships. These feelings are a rite of passage—a reminder that we’re human and crave connection.

And here’s the truth: while it’s lovely to dream about that perfect group of friends, the most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. Yes, darling, you are your first best friend! Nurturing that bond is essential. Take a moment to celebrate your individuality—your interests, quirks, and passions. Spend time doing the things you love, whether that’s curling up with a good book, exploring art, or binge-watching your favorite series. When you focus on loving yourself, you build a strong foundation for the friendships that will inevitably come your way.

So, what’s a fabulous person like yourself to do? Embrace the hunt! Don’t hesitate to reach out to that friendly coworker or the neighbor who seems interesting. Invite someone for coffee, join a class that piques your interest, or explore a new hobby. You never know—your new bestie could be lurking just beyond your comfort zone, waiting for an invite.And if you find yourself feeling a little lost in the friendship department, remember this: it’s a journey, not a race. The right people will come along when you least expect it, often in the most surprising ways.

So, here’s to those late-night soul-searching sessions, to finding joy in the little moments, and to the friendships that are still out there waiting to bloom. The dream squad might not be here yet, but with a little patience and a splash of sass, they’re just around the corner. So let’s raise our glasses to the adventure of friendship—because who knows? Your crew could be one fabulous connection away!

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