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There’s a trend making the rounds—actually, scratch that. There are two trends. On one side, we have the "clean girl." She’s the embodiment of minimalism: dewy skin, sleek hair, an aura of calm. She wakes up at 6 a.m., drinks her green juice, and has her entire life sorted into pastel-colored calendars. Her Instagram feed is as smooth as her perfectly curated life. On the other side, we have the "cool girl." Effortlessly chic, she’s the one who somehow pulls off looking like she just rolled out of bed while also being the epitome of style. She’s fun, laid-back, and never sweats the small stuff—or so we’re led to believe.

But as I sat scrolling through yet another set of #CleanGirl and #CoolGirl TikToks, I found myself asking: Is being a clean or cool girl really a good thing, or have we just swapped one unrealistic ideal for another?

The “Clean Girl” Aesthetic: Minimalism or Perfectionism?

Let’s start with the clean girl. The polished hair, the fresh face, the soft glow of a woman who seemingly has her life together. It’s appealing—almost aspirational. But here’s the catch: as effortlessly fresh as she may seem, there’s a lot of effort behind that look. Hours of skincare routines, strategically placed highlighter, and a wardrobe of perfectly coordinated neutrals.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good minimalistic moment. But somewhere between the sixth step of a skincare routine and the pressure to have an immaculate white linen lifestyle, I have to ask: are we really cleaning up, or are we just cleaning ourselves out? Exhaustion from the pursuit of perfection can’t be too far behind. There’s something unsettling about this spotless ideal, as if any stray hair or smudged mascara means your life is falling apart. It feels like another version of "doing it all," but with better lighting. So, is it really about feeling clean—or just looking it?

The “Cool Girl” Myth: Effortless or Exhausting?

Now, the cool girl. Ah, the elusive, mysterious creature who’s chill about everything. She’s the girl who drinks whiskey neat, watches sports, and somehow maintains an air of sexy nonchalance no matter what life throws at her. She’s never too emotional, never too attached, and always, always cool. I’ve tried being the cool girl. Spoiler alert: it’s exhausting. There’s only so many times you can pretend you don’t care that he didn’t text back, or that you really want to watch the game when all you want is to curl up and binge-watch your comfort show. Being “cool” often means hiding parts of yourself, shrinking down into someone who’s agreeable, easy-going, and never demanding.

But here’s the thing: real relationships, real life, aren’t "chill." They’re messy, emotional, and sometimes chaotic. And that’s okay. Trying to be the cool girl is like wearing shoes that don’t fit—sure, you might look good for a while, but sooner or later, those blisters are going to start hurting.

The Catch-22 of Being "Clean" or "Cool"

The truth is, whether we’re aiming for clean or cool, it’s just another set of expectations to live up to. We’re trading one ideal for another. We’ve gone from trying to have it all to trying to be it all—calm, composed, effortlessly stylish, and always just right. But what if we let ourselves be messy? What if we could be both clean and cool and a total disaster when we need to be? Life isn’t always perfectly curated or effortlessly chic. Sometimes, we’re spilling coffee down our white blouse or obsessing over texts we swear we’re “totally chill” about. Maybe the real goal shouldn’t be to fit into any one box—clean, cool, or otherwise—but to embrace the moments when we don’t fit in at all. Because let’s face it: the most interesting women I know are neither perfectly polished nor effortlessly cool—they’re somewhere in between, with a dash of chaos and a lot of authenticity.

So the next time you’re trying to decide whether to be clean or cool, remember: you don’t have to be either. You just have to be you. And isn’t that the coolest thing of all?

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