"So there was this guy who was completely my type, and I had a huge crush on him. We met on a dating app, sadly. I honestly never believed in dating apps, and I never thought I’d fall for someone I met on one… but here I am."
Sade

Every other week, I explore your questions on love, life, and the moments that stay with you. Looking for advice? Share your story with me here.

I think a lot of us secretly hate dating apps while continuing to use them every single night from bed like emotionally exhausted little raccoons searching for love.

Because there’s something deeply strange about modern dating. One minute you’re judging someone’s entire romantic potential based on three mirror selfies and a prompt that says “looking for my partner in crime,” and the next you’re wondering if this random man could potentially become your husband. Very dystopian. Very Black Mirror meets Sex and the City.

I used to think dating apps completely killed romance. Where are the dramatic meet-cutes? The accidental eye contact in bookstores? The man chasing you through an airport? Instead, romance now starts with “Hey :)” sent at 11:42 p.m. by someone named Thomas who “doesn’t know what he’s looking for yet.”

Beautiful.

But at the same time, I can’t fully hate dating apps because the truth is… they do create connections. People fall in love on them every day. Real relationships, marriages, entire families now exist because two people happened to swipe right while bored on a Tuesday night. That’s kind of insane when you think about it. I think the real issue is not necessarily the apps themselves, but the mentality they sometimes create. Dating starts feeling less emotional and more consumable. Like there’s always someone else one swipe away. Someone prettier, funnier, taller, emotionally available for once. Endless options make people both hopeful and completely incapable of choosing.

And honestly? That’s exhausting.

After a while, the apps stop feeling romantic and start feeling like unpaid administrative work. The same conversations. The same first dates. The same “What are you looking for?” discussion over overpriced cocktails. Sometimes you leave a date feeling less like a woman in love and more like an HR recruiter conducting interviews.

But despite all of that, I still don’t think romance is dead. I just think it evolved. Maybe love today looks different than it did twenty years ago. Maybe now the butterflies begin with a notification sound instead of a man approaching you in a café. And honestly, if two people genuinely connect, does it really matter how it started?

A swipe can absolutely become a love story. It can also become emotional trauma and a blocked number. Modern dating is all about taking that risk apparently. So no, I don’t think dating apps ruined romance. I just think they changed the scenery. The fairytale still exists… it just happens through a screen first now.

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